Do-Over Day

Under a week post to post? Hey, aren't we on a roll?

But today might not count. Might be a figment of our collective imaginations.

I want a do-over. Today sucked. Not sucked in any big Earth-shattering way. Just whiney for most people who have bigger, Earth shattering issues. No horror- show diagnosis, no cops at the door, or 3 a.m. life altering phone calls. But it sucked for me. As in: "Sucks for you".

I want to do-over today. I was told- in actions, not words, or rather, I was made to feel, in actions not words, ugly. Beyond the usual amount of ugly, unworthy, or undesireable I generally feel on a day to day basis. Petty at my age, but hey, "Sucks for you."

Yes, yes, it does. Big suck. Suck-suck. Suck with a Capital S. Sssssssssssssssssss.

What made it mess with my head on an even more intense level? It occurred to me, while crying again hours later, that some of my tears were falling for my Mother. I was literally crying for my Mother to come make me feel better. She has been dead for seven years and I truly doubt I would have told her about this particular incident anyway as it was quite intimate and painful.

I am fifty-two years old and someone truly hurt me and I cried for my Mother.

"SUCKS FOR YOU."