Drifting in and out of conscienceness during a televised Football game (Dolphins 24/ Jets 17), my one ear up 'focused' on a commercial for the ALL NEW! BAZILLION! DOLLAR! PASSWORD!!
In a lifetime of shitty time killing party-games, I have only had one Password partner who I meshed with to the point of absolutely kicking ass. Did we cheat? Maybe. Semantics, Dear Ones.
This partner was my daughter's "Godfather" (yes, I was an Atheist then, too, just not "out"). He was a year behind me in high school, and we shared years of the same references. Real people, Pop Culture, all the cliches that controlled the junior high 'scene'. Is that cheating? Prolly.
I never shared a 3rd period coffee and cigarette with Betty White, so she wouldn't know the bridge behind creek even existed, let alone catch a one word reference to it. We never went to the Mini Cinema together for her to know that Terry's dog was named Bandit or the free breakfast after an all night Marx Brothers marathon was donuts.The sticky stuff on the Mini floor? I can't imagine "smegma" being a password word...
And that, my friends, is the secret to kicking ass at Password.
Name EVERYTHING.
I am hoping my partner (My Victor) now gets the gist of this. Without me actually telling him ('cause THAT would be cheating). We do have a bit of this going on already, which secretly delights me. Perhaps not as fine tuned yet as the name of the high school car (Ritz Barclay), but we're getting there.
Today he planted our Giftmas Tree- our first together -in the yard. "Robert". All future Plants will likely be named Robert, but this one is extra special: Robert I.
The new Coffee Pot is named Al Roker. Mr. Roker, to be exact. The sink is a "Gucci", our poetry is "Shit filed", and we call Brian-next-door Patrick.
Please, please, don't tell Regis~ Maybe we'll cut you in...
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Atheistic-Post-Christmas-Blues
So here I go... A year into my new life. Jumping into the -what- the 1990's with a blog. This is a diary, right? Not as bullshit and slutty as the bile producing "friends" on MySpazz. Not to be torn apart by strangers who think because they can type with 3 fingers like I do they can too have their say. We'll see.
If anyone actually ever reads this, you will indeed get to know me. Perhaps too much. Slowly then you will see I really,REALLY, am a nice, generous and moral person. Friend to all who have not crossed me yet.
Tonight, however, I am in some as yet undetermined bitch mode.
I am first and foremost a mother. Secondly a friend and lover to my partner. Third, an Atheist. I have looped the whole free thinking spectrum, and finally realized that yes, I am one of those people as sure in my belief as a born-again. I try not to be arrogant about it for that is repulsive too. For ME, there is no god.
December, however brings expectations. Shopping and cooking for the people I love purely because I love them, as I do in May and September. Reminders to make contact with the people I think of often, but find other excuses to blow off during the warmer months.
December is a time I divide my friends into different catagories: Christian, Jewish, Atheist, hard core or wishy-washy. I keep score of other things in my head all year, another of my charms. When my father died I immediately divided up my friends to separate who had living dads/dead dads, scum dads or loving dads. Who could relate? When my mother died I did the same and quickly realized almost all of my friends still had at least one parent. More new territory.
When I finally left my marriage, after a solid decade+ of contemplation and waiting for my babies to grow, my friends divied up again in my head. And as I'd been warned, I actually lost most of them. The miserable, hanging in there marriages don't truly want the temptation. The sad and shitty marriages don't either. The handful of friends I've retained were either never married, or previously divorced, and a sister who's throat I would slit if she ever tried to split.
So, K, it's 2 days after the 25th of December and I find myself non-descript sad and taking a creepy internal inventory. WTF? THIS is what we wait all year for? What a bunch of losers. Me included. Now I'll have an additional- oh- I dunno- $900 on next months Visa. WTF?
We compromised on a small live tree to be planted out back in a spot we wanted new life in come spring. I tipped the mailman appropriately, partially to thank him for past service, partially as insurance for this years eBay posts. I had cookies at the ready for a new neighbor in case they showed, but didn't want to make the first move and set a precident I won't care to keep. I "did" Christmas in ways that were expected but did not include religion. Satisfactory, to be sure. I missed a family I cherish in the UK by procrastinating on sending gifts, but otherwise, I think I pulled off what I wanted to.
Except for me now that it's 2 days past and my main focus is aside. Yes, I got the Atheistic-Post-Christmas-Blues (wah, wah, wah, wah...)
I wanted no gifts, and I got very few. Ditto the cards. And the phone calls. Divided the friends again into who remembered our December Birthdays, mine and my daughter. I am surprised and ashamed that I do this. But I do it nonetheless.
The score I should keep but don't as of late is the almighty calorie count. Again, WTF?
I feel cheated. And broke. And bitchy.
And fat.
If anyone actually ever reads this, you will indeed get to know me. Perhaps too much. Slowly then you will see I really,REALLY, am a nice, generous and moral person. Friend to all who have not crossed me yet.
Tonight, however, I am in some as yet undetermined bitch mode.
I am first and foremost a mother. Secondly a friend and lover to my partner. Third, an Atheist. I have looped the whole free thinking spectrum, and finally realized that yes, I am one of those people as sure in my belief as a born-again. I try not to be arrogant about it for that is repulsive too. For ME, there is no god.
December, however brings expectations. Shopping and cooking for the people I love purely because I love them, as I do in May and September. Reminders to make contact with the people I think of often, but find other excuses to blow off during the warmer months.
December is a time I divide my friends into different catagories: Christian, Jewish, Atheist, hard core or wishy-washy. I keep score of other things in my head all year, another of my charms. When my father died I immediately divided up my friends to separate who had living dads/dead dads, scum dads or loving dads. Who could relate? When my mother died I did the same and quickly realized almost all of my friends still had at least one parent. More new territory.
When I finally left my marriage, after a solid decade+ of contemplation and waiting for my babies to grow, my friends divied up again in my head. And as I'd been warned, I actually lost most of them. The miserable, hanging in there marriages don't truly want the temptation. The sad and shitty marriages don't either. The handful of friends I've retained were either never married, or previously divorced, and a sister who's throat I would slit if she ever tried to split.
So, K, it's 2 days after the 25th of December and I find myself non-descript sad and taking a creepy internal inventory. WTF? THIS is what we wait all year for? What a bunch of losers. Me included. Now I'll have an additional- oh- I dunno- $900 on next months Visa. WTF?
We compromised on a small live tree to be planted out back in a spot we wanted new life in come spring. I tipped the mailman appropriately, partially to thank him for past service, partially as insurance for this years eBay posts. I had cookies at the ready for a new neighbor in case they showed, but didn't want to make the first move and set a precident I won't care to keep. I "did" Christmas in ways that were expected but did not include religion. Satisfactory, to be sure. I missed a family I cherish in the UK by procrastinating on sending gifts, but otherwise, I think I pulled off what I wanted to.
Except for me now that it's 2 days past and my main focus is aside. Yes, I got the Atheistic-Post-Christmas-Blues (wah, wah, wah, wah...)
I wanted no gifts, and I got very few. Ditto the cards. And the phone calls. Divided the friends again into who remembered our December Birthdays, mine and my daughter. I am surprised and ashamed that I do this. But I do it nonetheless.
The score I should keep but don't as of late is the almighty calorie count. Again, WTF?
I feel cheated. And broke. And bitchy.
And fat.
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